How do I get our one-year old cat to accept our new, two-year old refugee/rescue cat?
We got Sophie about 3 months ago from a cat rescue centre and she's just over a year old now.
Last week we took in a 2 year old Norwegian Forest female from a friend, whose 3 other cats (one of which was a sibling) constantly attacked and bullied her.
Our cat just won't leave the new cat alone! She used to be loving, friendly and totally cute but now she's just a little horror. We feel so sorry for the new arrival - she's had such a bum deal so far and she spends most of her time hiding from Sophie. The only time she'll come out and play/eat/use the litter tray/etc is when Sophie's outdoors or in another room.
I know it's still very early days, but my question is this: is there a way that we can get the two cats to accept each other more quickly. I've heard the one about rubbing the new cat in Sophie's bedding, but that's not made the slightest difference.
Any idea and suggestions would be very welcome. Incidentally, they have both been spayed...
Public Comments
1. Give them time to get used to each other, this will happen on their schedule.They may never be best of friends, but they will learn to tolerate each other.
2. It's still pretty early in the game for your girls. And they are both young. I'm almost positive that over time they will learn to tolerate one another. Be sure not to force the issue, for example, don't pick up the new kitty and hold her up to Sophie and vice versa. This is just asking for a fight, especially when they have one thing in common - you as a dad. I've had to deal with this more than once. I've found that if you spend a little extra time with Sophie, petting her, loving her, carrying her around, in front of the new cat, then Sophie will be so smug and self-satisfied that she won't bother after a while.
3. have your cats inside cats. they live longer, be healthier and happier.
you havve to so slow!!
first seperate them. keep one in a cage and while the other is out so it can snif and stuff. then week by week let the cats get closer
4. We had one cat for a while, then got one who was two months younger to be his friend. They were both neutered. We read about this method to get them to accept each other: Every day for two weeks, they were brought together for a few minutes under supervision to see that they did not fight. They slept in separate rooms, one room closed off, but go in to soothe the new cat. After that, they will accept each other and the first cat will usually be the dominant one. Our cats played together and loved each other. The older cat always groomed the younger one, and when they wrestled, the new cat would lower his body in submission, as they would do in the wild.
5. We had a similar problem when we adopted two cats from the cats protection league. The vet recommended Felifriend which is a spray that smells like the hormone happy comfortable cats give off. You can get the spray to put on the cats (rub it on your hands then stroke the cats) or you can get a plug in diffuser which releases the smell into the room.
We used a diffuser in the room where the cats ate but also the spray so that in the rest of the house and garden they would recognise each other too!
It really worked, the first day we used it stopped the spitting and growling and although they never became best friends they did learn to live together, eat together, even sleep on the same settee!
Good luck!
6. Time and patience, in my experience - it depends entirely on the individuals involved....
When my partner first moved in with me, she brought with her her two old dogs, both well into their teens. I already had a little puppy of just a few months old at the time, and she had a really hard time accepting my partner's old two, even though they immediately set about trying to make friends with my little one. I took at least 6 weeks, but she accepted them eventually....
About a month ago the tables are reversed. The last of my partner's two old dogs died, the first having died in April. My original young one, now 4 years old, found herself alone, and her spirits hit such a low that we decided to get her a young companion, which came in the form of a three-month-old puppy.
The difference was immediate. My little dog perked up the second we brought the new puppy into the house, and accepted her immediately, and she has not looked back.
So, don't think there's anything wrong with your cats' situation - I think you just need to give it a little time, and sooner or later your original cat will accept your new one.
I hope it works out well for you and them.
7. It will take some time. With cats, there is always a pecking order to be worked out. Obviously, Sophie wants to make it clear from the beginning that she is top dog - er - cat.
I have a special place in my heart for "Weegies" as my all-time favourite cat was a Norwegian Forest .
In the beginning, make sure you supervise their meetings and be firm with Sophie that she must not bully.
Once they have reached a truce, try feeding them at the same time but with their bowls on opposite sides of the room. Gradually bring the bowls closer together. Eventually you will probably be able to feed them side by side and they may even be willing to share a bowl. Please make sure the new girl has her own litter box as some cats will try to bully others by keeping them out of the litter box and forcing them to go elsewhere, much to the chagrin of the owners.
Also, make sure you cuddle both cats as much as possible.
Do you know anything about Sophie's background before she was in the rescue centre? If she was abused early in life she may be "hardwired" for survival to the extent that she won't tolerate any semblance of sharing with another cat and this could take a LOT of work on your part to overcome.
Persevere and pray and your efforts will probably pay off.
Good luck to you and both your kitties. I know they are fortunate in having you to care for them.
8. It will take time. I've got 2 cats, (adult females) both from the same animal shelter, and we had them both on the same day. One used to bully the other one something awful- I was always having to rescue the bullied one from the other cat. It went on every day for months.
Eventually, they have settled down OK, and occasionally sit together on te rug in front of the fire, or sleep on my bed near each other. They tolerate each other very well now. So much so, that when Stella (the bullied one) went missing for 4 days a couple of years ago, Cleo (the bully) used to keep going to the door and window, to look for her.
Let your new cat have somewhere safe to retreat to, and get some cat toys, and play with both cats.
9. It can be a very slow process getting them to accept each other, and possibly made that bit harder as you have two females. My friend who used to work for the Cats Protection once told me that two females are very hard to integrate with each other and may never get along. Possibly proved by the fact that we once had two females and despite all efforts from us, they used to have vicious fights whenever they accidentally come into contact with each other, so we had to keep them apart. Thus said, its not impossible, and very slow introduction and always supervised is best. At times when you are not around, make sure they are kept in separate rooms. Let them get used to one anothers smell, swap their beddings and make a fuss of them both equally. Sophie may be letting the newie know she's boss around town! In my experience, it usually takes a couple of months or so, and a lot of patience!!!! Hope that they manage to get on ok in time, wishing you luck x
10. Cats are highly territorial and not all of them like sharing, so it can take a while for a newcomer to be accepted. Territory is vitally important to cats because it is the source of food, love and shelter and as you've seen with Sophie, some will fight to defend it. She may feel especially threatened because the new cat is older and larger than her.
Cats also rely very heavily on their sense of smell and they need to get used to each others scents. Ideally you should confine the newcomer to one room (with a litter box, food & water) and allow Sophie the run of the home. This will reassure her that she is still in control of her territory. After a day or so, try allowing the newcomer out of her confined area for a couple of hours, whilst Sophie is placed in that area in order for her to get to know the newcomer's scent before any face to face introductions. At the same time, the newcomer should be allowed to explore the rest of your home and become familiar with Sophie's scent. Whenever you stroke either of the cats, let the other cat smell your hands before washing them as this will help familiarise them with each others smell. The cats will also be able to smell each other through the bottom of the door to the confinement room. Believe me, once their scents are intermingled, they will become much more tolerant of each other. When the hissing or growling has stopped, wedge the door open 1-2 inches maxium, so that they can see each other without being able to get at each other. Make sure that the door is secure and that neither cat can force their way in or out of the room. When they can look at each other without any hostile reactions, then you can consider allowing the newcomer free access to the rest of your home. They should now at least be able to tolerate each other's presence, but keep your eye on them to make sure things don't get out of hand. A plug in Feliway diffuser may also help as they emit pheromones that are soothing to cats.
The web sites below offer further advice on how to introduce the cats to each other.
http://www.tulsa-animalshelter.org/tips/intro%20cat.htm
http://messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm
Be patient with Sophie, she is bound to be worried that the newcomer may be trying to steal her territory. Offer her lots of reassurance and food treats when she is well behaved in the presence of the newcomer as this will help her associate the other cat with good things. Once she understands that the newcomer is to be her friend and not her replacement, she will calm down.
11. Personally I would not have two female cats as I have found they only tolerate each other and do not bond particularly well.
The most important thing was the introduction, but as you have gone past that stage now, I would suggest you seperate them for a few days and swap their bedding over during this time.
Also purchase a Feliway Plug in, you can get this from your vet or cheaper on e-bay.
Both your cats are probably feeling very insecure at the moment and to ease the stress you can purchase a feliway plug in from your vet. This releases pheromones into the air, much like those cats produce themselves on the side of their cheeks, which they rub against you. This scent makes them feel happy and secure and reduces stress. It is often used for this exact problem.
Then when you are ready to re-introduce them have a piece of cooked chicken to hand and throw small pieces to each of them. Keep the new cat close to you when you do this to prevent her from running over to get the piece you've thrown to your existing cat. A cat is more likely to accept another if its brought it's kill in to share.
Hopefully this will get them to tolerate each other and stop any full on fights.
Good Luck and well done on you for taking a rescue cat.
12. I wish I had a good easy answer for you. I have recently read a book on the topic, "Cat Versus Cat", don't bother reading it. The same info is all over the Internet, keep cats separate - have them meet slowly, have them only associate good things with each other, e.g. feeding them together, but keep them mostly separate until neither hiss or growl, etc. Keep the new cat in their own room if possible, etc.,..
We are going into month 3 with our situation. We adopted a 5 year old from the Humane Society last year when our 18 year old cat died. She (Tara) is sweet cat, and was just started to relax when a one year old cat found us. She (Lucille) is much friendlier and active than our five year old but she is a bully. She was abandoned and lost and found her way into our yard and our hearts, we brought her to the vet and got all her shots etc., she is very healthy. We were having her spayed and they discovered she was. Tara is too. Lucille is so gentle and affectionate with us but attacks Tara, she stalks and attacks at any given opportunity. We have kept them separate for weeks at a time, the result is always the same when they do finally meet, a fight - which we break up immediately. Bennet Johnson (Cat versus Cat) says never let them fight, they can get hurt and will never trust you. When a fight occurs, we split them up, spray water (you are not suppose to yell), Lucille bounces away like nothing occurred and Tara hides and is scared, she doesn’t want us near her either, it is horrid. Tara is not the same any more and always wary. We keep them separate always now.
We also did the rubbing of the towel, rubbing it on both of them, placing one in each of their "rooms".
They each have a room and get the run of the house at different times, what a schedule, it is so time consuming I cannot tell you. When Tara is out she just goes about her business, walking around, sleeping, looking out the window, playing (but less than she use to - as in life before Lucille).. When Lucille is out she does those things too and also spend a lot of time waiting outside Tara's room, put her paw under the door, she just lies in wait for her....
Our vet has also told us to avoid fights. Well, this week we spoke to another vet who said we have been avoiding their interaction and tension is building up and we need to let them resolve it, they may have one big fight and that will be it. She also said it may not work but that it is only option left. My husband and I don't believe it will work, we want it to so much we are don’t dare allow ourselves to have too much hope now, but it is our last chance. We love Tara, and first one in stays, and we now love Lucille too but if this doesn't work in the next few days we will have to find her a new home. It breaks our heart to think of it but we want them both to have a good quality of life. We have a big enough place for two cats, enough love for two - but they don't understand that. Another reason why we love cats so much I guess. Both of our cats are also females and both spayed too.
Sorry, need to vent out my situation, now to yours. You may wish to go a little slower, keep them separate more. Apparently, it is “normal” that the resident cat is the aggressor and that is better - in our situation the new cat is - and we were told it works best if the new cat lets the older cat be boss - it sounds like that is the case with yours. When our former cat was around 10 we brought in a 7 year old cat. We never kept them separate, did not know the "rules" and it worked just great, they were not best friends but often in the same room and they never fought, they were together for 5 terrific years.
Everyone I tell our horror story to seems to know of a great story of how the cats get along. I read somewhere it was a 50/50 chance. Honestly, I read too much on this topic. When you follow all the supposed expert advice and things don’t work you get very frustrated and disappointed. We have two wonderful cats and it sounds like you do too. Sophie doesn't want to share you since she is now in a wonderful place, can't blame her, but she very well may come around.
Good luck to you, will check back and hope for some good news and some to share too. It is heartbreaking when it doesn't work out but there is a good chance it will. I am also open for advice, no more books or articles, want to hear from the real cat lovers with their stories and experiences.
